Please take a number…

Two weeks ago I made an appointment to meet with someone from the mortgage department at my bank.  That appointment was this morning. 

I got all dressed up.  Trousers and polo by Botany 500, my best going to the office shoes, watch by Michelle* on a tooled leather strap made by yours truly.  I don’t get that spiffed up on the weekend for just anybody…

[* It’s very real but I got it for next to nothing at the flea market.  It’s so nice when the venders don’t know what they have! ;-) ]

I arrived about ten minutes early and fully prepared.  I had my pay stubs.  I had my bank statements.  I had two years worth of tax returns. I had documentation regarding my pension and 401(k).  All laid out nice and neat in a ring binder.

I also had five (5) copies of my personal Income Statement and Balance Sheet.  The first one shows things as they stand today (admittedly not very pretty…), the next three show the three steps I’ve laid out that will solve my cashflow problems once and for all, and the final result – a wonderfully clean and productive Income Statement and Balance Sheet that, once I achieve it, will give me the freedom to invest as I see fit for my future.

She didn’t look and any of it.

She just fired up the banks web-based mortgage application form and filled it in for me as if I didn’t know how to type.  I could have done that myself two weeks ago at home on my own computer in my skivvies had I chosen to do so.  The “person from the mortgage department” we were meeting with turned out to be nothing more than an order taker!

(muffled by the speaker)

“Would you like fries with that? – Please drive up…”

This was a total waste of time!  Both my time in the meeting this morning and of the two weeks we waited for this morning to arrive!  I need to talk one-on-one with a real decision maker, not waste my time with low level data entry clerks!  How do I get past these underlings and reach the real mortgage people?  I may not be independently wealthy now – but very soon after I get to that fifth spreadsheet I expect to be someone my bankers will know on a first name basis!